The Hidden Costs of Emotional Avoidance: How Suppressing Emotions Can Lead to Dysfunction
As humans, we're wired to avoid pain and pursue pleasure. It's a fundamental aspect of our biology. However, when it comes to emotions, this instinct can lead us down a path of avoidance, suppression, and ultimately, dysfunction. You see, emotions don't disappear just because we choose to ignore them. Instead, they become trapped, like a person locked in a closet, waiting to break free.
Imagine the energy required to keep that person contained. It's exhausting, both physically and mentally. And when they finally manage to escape, the emotions that emerge are intense, overwhelming, and often unpleasant. We're left feeling scared, powerless, and desperate to shut them back in. But this cycle of avoidance and suppression comes at a steep price.
Over time, we become drained, unable to enjoy life's simple pleasures. We become numb, joyless beings, afraid to feel anything at all. So, why do we find ourselves stuck in this pattern of emotional avoidance? There are two primary reasons.
Firstly, our natural inclination to avoid pain and pursue pleasure makes experiencing unpleasant emotions counterintuitive. It's uncomfortable, and our brain tells us to steer clear. Secondly, many of us lack the skills to contain and process our emotions in a healthy way. This is often a result of our upbringing, where we may not have learned effective emotional regulation strategies from our caregivers.
Consider a child who falls and scrapes their knee. They're overwhelmed by a mix of emotions – pain, surprise, disappointment, and fear. The parent's response plays a crucial role in shaping the child's emotional intelligence. If the parent becomes overwhelmed and uncontained, the child's emotions escalate. If they're dismissive, the child learns to suppress their feelings. But when the parent acknowledges and validates the child's emotions, offering comfort and reassurance, the child begins to develop essential emotional regulation skills.
So, what can we do if we recognize that our avoidant strategies are holding us back, but we're too scared to confront our emotions? Fortunately, there are ways to break free from this cycle. Meditation, for instance, offers a powerful tool for developing emotional awareness and regulation. By cultivating mindfulness, we can learn to observe our emotions without becoming overwhelmed.
Psychotherapy is another effective approach. A skilled therapist can help us identify the root causes of our emotional avoidance and develop personalized strategies for containment and processing. Through therapy, we can relearn how to respond to our emotions in a healthy, constructive way.
It's time to recognize that emotions are not the enemy. They're a natural part of the human experience, and by acknowledging and working with them, we can break free from the cycle of avoidance and suppression. By doing so, we can reclaim our emotional lives, rediscover joy, and live more authentic, fulfilling lives.
Gestalt Therapy and Internal Family Theory: Exploring the Self as a System of Parts
Gestalt therapy and internal family theory are two psychotherapeutic approaches that share a fundamental concept: the self as a system composed of multiple parts. This perspective suggests that our personality is made up of a multiplicity of aspects, each with its own characteristics and functions.
Internal Family Theory
Internal family theory, developed by Richard Schwartz, posits that our self is composed of multiple "parts" or "subpersonalities" that interact with each other. These parts can be thought of as different personalities within us, each with its own needs, desires, and fears.
The Observer: The Holistic Leader
One of the most important parts of our self is the observer, also known as the holistic leader. The observer is that part of us that is able to see the entire system, observe all the other parts, and make decisions that take into account the well-being of the entire system.
The observer is like a conductor who coordinates all the different sections of the orchestra to create a harmonious symphony. If the observer is strong and healthy, it is able to maintain balance and coherence within the system, ensuring that every part is heard and respected.
The Problem of a Weak Observer
However, if the observer is weak or fragile, it can happen that it identifies with one of the other parts, such as the inner critic or the inner child. When this occurs, the balance of the system is compromised, and problems such as anxiety, depression, or addiction can emerge.
The Inner Critic and the Inner Child
The inner critic is that part of us that judges and criticizes us constantly. If the observer identifies with the inner critic, it can become too severe and self-critical, leading to feelings of inadequacy and low self-esteem.
The inner child, on the other hand, is that part of us that is vulnerable and sensitive. If the observer identifies with the inner child, it can become too emotional and reactive, leading to feelings of anxiety and instability.
Gestalt Therapy and Internal Family Theory
Gestalt therapy and internal family theory offer tools and techniques to help the observer become stronger and healthier. Through awareness and acceptance of the different parts of our self, we can learn to integrate and balance our energies, promoting coherence and harmony within the system.
Conclusion
Internal family theory and Gestalt therapy offer a unique and powerful perspective for understanding our self and promoting personal growth. By recognizing the multiplicity of our parts and working to integrate and balance them, we can become more aware, more empathetic, and more effective in our daily lives.
The Trauma-Microbiome Connection: How Stress Shuts Down Digestion and Sets Off a Chain Reaction
Imagine you're walking through the forest, enjoying the peaceful surroundings, when suddenly you hear a rustling in the bushes. Your heart starts racing, your senses go on high alert, and your body prepares to either fight or flee. This is the classic "fight or flight" response, designed to help you survive in the face of danger.
But what happens to your digestive system during this intense moment? Well, it's not exactly a priority. In fact, your body deliberately shuts down digestion to redirect blood flow to your peripheral organs, giving you the best chance to win your fight or outrun your aggressor.
The Digestive System Takes a Backseat
When we're under stress, our body's "fight or flight" response kicks in, releasing stress hormones like adrenaline and cortisol. These hormones trigger a cascade of physiological changes that prepare our body for action. One of the first things to happen is that blood flow is redirected away from our digestive system and towards our muscles, heart, and lungs.
This makes sense from a survival perspective. When we're facing a predator or a threat, we don't need to worry about digesting our lunch. We need to focus on getting out of harm's way or defending ourselves. So, our body prioritizes blood flow to the organs that will help us survive in the short term.
The Consequences of Maldigestion
However, this temporary shutdown of digestion can have unintended consequences. When our digestive system isn't functioning properly, we can't absorb the nutrients we need to stay healthy. This can lead to a range of problems, from bloating and gas to malnutrition and fatigue.
And it gets worse. When we're not digesting our food properly, we're also not feeding our microbiome. Our gut bacteria rely on the nutrients from our food to thrive, and when they don't get what they need, they start to suffer. This can lead to an imbalance in our microbiome, also known as dysbiosis.
The Microbiome Connection
So, what happens when our microbiome is out of balance? Well, it's not pretty. Dysbiosis has been linked to a range of health problems, from digestive issues like IBS and Crohn's disease to mental health conditions like anxiety and depression.
But here's the thing: our microbiome is not just a passive victim of our digestive system. It's an active participant in our overall health, influencing everything from our immune system to our brain function.
Breaking the Cycle
So, how can we break the cycle of trauma, maldigestion, and dysbiosis? Here are a few strategies to get you started:
- Practice stress-reducing techniques: Yoga, meditation, and deep breathing can all help calm your nervous system and reduce stress.
- Eat nutrient-dense foods: Focus on whole, unprocessed foods that are rich in fiber, vitamins, and minerals.
- Support your microbiome: Consider taking a prebiotic supplement or eating fermented foods like kimchi or sauerkraut.
- Get enough sleep: Aim for 7-9 hours of sleep per night to help your body recover from the stresses of the day.
By taking care of our digestive system and our microbiome, we can reduce our risk of developing chronic diseases and improve our overall health and well-being. So, take a deep breath, relax, and let your body do what it does best: heal and thrive.
The Complex Interplay Between Trauma and the Body: A Functional Medicine Perspective
As a functional medicine practitioner, I've come to understand that trauma is not just a psychological issue, but a complex interplay between the mind, body, and environment. Trauma can have a profound impact on our physical health, and conversely, our physical health can influence our susceptibility to trauma.
The Two-Way Feedback Loop
There are two primary ways that trauma interacts with the body:
- Top-Down: Trauma can affect the body by altering the brain's stress response, leading to changes in hormone production, gut function, and immune system regulation. This can result in a range of physical symptoms, from digestive issues to chronic pain.
- Bottom-Up: Conversely, the body's physiological state can influence our susceptibility to trauma. For example, someone with a compromised gut microbiome, impaired detoxification pathways, or hormonal imbalances may be more vulnerable to the effects of trauma.
The Role of the Microbiome
The gut microbiome plays a critical role in our overall health, and trauma can have a profound impact on the balance of our gut bacteria. Research has shown that individuals with a healthy microbiome are more resilient to stress and trauma, while those with an imbalanced microbiome may be more susceptible to the negative effects of trauma.
The Impact of Lifestyle Factors
Lifestyle factors, such as diet, exercise, and sleep, can also influence our susceptibility to trauma. For example:
- A diet high in processed foods and sugar can disrupt the balance of the gut microbiome, making us more vulnerable to trauma.
- Regular exercise can help regulate the body's stress response and improve resilience to trauma.
- Poor sleep quality can impair the body's ability to regulate stress hormones, making us more susceptible to trauma.
The Effects of Medications
Certain medications, such as antibiotics and statins, can also impact our susceptibility to trauma. For example:
- Antibiotics can disrupt the balance of the gut microbiome, making us more vulnerable to trauma.
- Statins can impair the body's ability to produce cholesterol, which is necessary for the production of hormones that regulate the stress response.
Hormonal Imbalances
Hormonal imbalances, such as thyroid dysfunction or adrenal fatigue, can also influence our susceptibility to trauma. For example:
- Thyroid dysfunction can impair the body's ability to regulate metabolism, leading to fatigue and increased susceptibility to trauma.
- Adrenal fatigue can impair the body's ability to produce cortisol, leading to increased susceptibility to stress and trauma.
A Functional Medicine Approach
As a functional medicine practitioner, I take a comprehensive approach to addressing trauma, considering the complex interplay between the mind, body, and environment. This includes:
- Assessing the gut microbiome and implementing dietary and supplement interventions to promote balance and resilience.
- Evaluating lifestyle factors, such as diet, exercise, and sleep, and providing guidance on optimizing these factors to promote resilience.
- Considering the impact of medications and hormonal imbalances on susceptibility to trauma.
- Implementing stress-reducing techniques, such as mindfulness and meditation, to help regulate the body's stress response.
By taking a comprehensive approach to addressing trauma, we can promote resilience, reduce symptoms, and improve overall health and well-being.
COPING WITH ANXIETY
Unfortunately the amygdala reacts in the same way to a real or imagined threat. Often anxiety is not triggered by real danger; it arises because we imagine ourselves in awful future situations, like failing an exam, losing our job, embarrassing ourselves in front of other people or simply not being able to cope.
Maladaptive anxiety stops us from taking risks and trying out new and potentially beneficial behaviours; this impacts negatively on the quality of our life.
To reduce feelings of anxiety we need to integrate those primitive parts of our brain with the more sophisticated ones like the cortex and reduce their sensitivity.
Short term strategies
The situation that creates anxiety is always in the future, so if we anchor ourselves in the present moment the feeling will lessen or disappear. There are many techniques available, but simply reconnecting with our senses and our surroundings could be enough.
Activities that involve the left side of the brain might help, like crosswords, reading, writing and whatever involves words and language.
Medium term strategies
Sometimes our thoughts about what will happen are not realistic and that catastrophic scenario that worries us so much is unlikely to happen. Reconsidering our thinking style, becoming aware of distorted thoughts and challenging them can help.
Meditating focusing on our breath can be very effective, it shrinks the amygdala and increases the connections between the amygdala and the prefrontal cortex.
Long term strategies
One should face the situations that caused anxiety instead of avoiding them, and give oneself the possibility to learn that often things turn out better when we get through with them.
Because anxiety serves to prepare our body for action, regular physical exercise is great to release the excess adrenaline and cortisol triggered by the amygdala, it mimics what we would have done if the danger was real and we needed to fight or run away. It also changes the chemical structure of our brain over time and improves mood.
Isolation increases the symptoms of anxiety. Connecting with others, being in a loving, secure and supportive relationship with a partner, relatives, friends, a pet, god or the energy of the universe can be of enormous help. The hormone of love, oxytocin, makes the amygdala less reactive to fear and threat in anxious people.
To conclude remember that if you want to conquer anxiety you need to live in the moment, slow down, connect to your senses, think clearly, exercise and face your fears (maybe with my help). Good luck!
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